Monday, June 15, 2009

The "Ins" and "Outs" of the World Today...

In: Dontrelle Willis becoming a "Rick Ankiel"-type position player
Out: Dontrelle Willis refusing to acknowledge he now pitches at a Mustang-Bronco level

In: Grape flavored Gatorade
Out: Faygo Grape pop

In: Low volume just to get feeling for game
Out: Listening to Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy

In: You got sleeves...use 'em
Out: Napkins

In: New Tiger OF Don Kelly
Out: Didn't know there was such a thing as the "Poor Man's Frank Catalanotto"

In: Being right handed
Out: Those kids that needed "lefty" scissors back in elementary school

In: Circles
Out: Does anybody really know what an "oval" looks like??

In: Edwin Jackson's 98 MPH heat
Out: Jeremy Bonderman topping out in the high 80's (yikes)

In: Titanium-plated prosthetic limbs
Out: Bonderman's current right arm that is made of actual spaghetti

In: Dig in and take your cut
Out: Softball players that run up in the box to hit the ball

In: Originality
Out: Terminator: Salvation copying every Will Smith movie from the last 15 years

In: "An honest mistake"
Out: Opening the Cheez-It box from the bottom and getting ridiculed heavily for it

In: Rashard Lewis, East Finals
Out: Lewis morphing into Richard Dumas, NBA Finals

In: Parties with Baby Hot Dogs
Out: Parties with Chips & Dip

In: Seagulls in the outfield
Out: Teams getting rid of them with hostile scare tactics

In: The "Hustle"
Out: It's pretty much the only dance us white people are comfortable doing

In: Sleeping with the window open
Out: Birds will wake ya up with their morning tunes

In: Straight-up honey...just honey
Out: Honey mustard. It's enough already. Stop trying. We've seen your act. We just want honey.

In: Zito...Mulder...Hudson
Out: Pretty sad how they all fell off the Earth right around the same time

In: "Here, take my keys"
Out: My brother Sam, aka, "Guy that breaks into a cold sweat if someone else takes his wheels for a spin"

In: Tigers speedy outfielder Josh Anderson
Out: Let's just call him what he really is. The Caucasian Nook Logan

In: Underrated Beach Boys song, "Wendy"
Out: Overrated Beach Boys song, "Surfin, U.S.A."

In: Kinda missin' former Piston Chucky Atkins
Out: Actually admitting that in a public forum...

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