5 Things Joe Dumars Must Have Forgotten about Charlie Villanueva when he Signed him for $35 Million Dollars Last Summer

1. He's a big man who likes to shoot 3s...only, he ain't a good 3-point shooter.

See, as Pistons fans, we have seen this act quite a bit the last few years (see: Rasheed Wallace), and lemme tell you, it is even less fun the second time around. Charlie Villanueva is 6-foot-11, but you wouldn't know it from his game. This man just loves to shoot the long ball. In a home loss to Portland last month, Charlie V jacked up 9 from long range...he made 1. In the tight loss to the Celtics earlier this week, he hoisted 4 from distance...he made none. For the year, he is shooting 32% on 3s, which is pretty much right at his career average (.326). It's not like the guy is just struggling with his outside shot; it was just never that good to begin with.

2. He's not in the best shape, he's not in the worst shape. He's just kind of..."doughy."

Simply put, doughy is never a good adjective to have placed on you as a professional athlete. Its meaning is exactly what you think. While other NBA power forwards have toned bodies composed of lean muscle mass, Villanueva's main core is composed of actual cookie dough. Homeboy is soft, with a capital S. When you think of the word doughy, it conjures up memories of guys like Chris Gatling and George McCloud. They weren't necessarily in terrible physical condition, but it doesn't mean it would have been a pleasant experience to see them shirtless in the locker room after a game. At least with a guy like Rasheed, he was somewhat sculpted early in his career. Charlie V is only 25, and he's already starting to look like Terry Mills. Doughy might be an understatement three years from now...yikes.

3. He's got a little bit of funk in his post-up game...just don't expect the ball ever to be kicked out once he gets his mitts on it.

I made the joke earlier this year that in watching Villanueva play, it almost seems like he literally is not aware that when he receives the ball in the post, he still possesses the option to either shoot or pass. I really think that he is just unaware of the rules of the game and thinks that when he is delivered the ball on the block, he has to shoot, or the ball is turned over to the other team. That's the only explanation for the way he plays. Don't get me wrong, Villanueva is a semi-capable scorer down near the paint. He's got a nice little arsenal of jump hooks and awkward turnarounds. But he is definitely a "black hole." Meaning, once the ball goes in, it ain't comin' back out. You could double-team him, you could triple-team him...hell, you could send your entire roster and your coaching staff out on the floor to surround him in the post, and he would still send the ball towards the rim before it's all said and done. Watch an old tape of Hakeem in the Finals in '94 and '95. He was downright filthy on the block, scoring at will against whoever was guarding him. However, when help came, he was always willing to dish out to Robert Horry, Kenny Smith, Mario Elie, or whoever was open out on the perimeter. It's a mandatory skill for any guy that wants to get the ball in the post on a regular basis. Apparently Charlie V never got that memo.

4. Defense Optional

There is a lot wrong with Mr. Villanueva's work on the defensive side of the ball. And I think it starts with that funny body of his. He's almost 7 feet tall, but still lacks the necessary bulk to match up with beefy power forwards like Carlos Boozer. And if you want to free him up from all that banging and have him defend the 3-man, now it's his absence of foot speed and athleticism that makes the matchup a nightmare. There's really nowhere to hide him. One time this year, Al Harrington of the Knicks backed Villanueva all the way down for a layup. Ordinarily, this wouldn't be a big deal. Except that Harrington started his voyage at the 3-point line. It may have been the first 22-foot post-up in NBA history. No coincidence that it involved our boy Charlie, a true NBA sieve.

5. Dude's attitude is prittttay, prittttay, shaky.

It's always been a concern for the Villanueva followers throughout his basketball career. Does the guy really care enough to be a top NBA player, or is he pretty much fine with sailing through his 8-10 years, making his money, and not breaking too much of a sweat in the process? I hate to say it, but I think it's clearly the latter. I just don't see much desire from Charlie. There have been rare moments this year when he gets fired up during a game. In an upset home win over Boston during the season's 1st half, it was Villanueva who kept knocking down big shots in the final minutes. After his final dagger trey, followed by a Celts timeout, Villanueva came bounding over to the Pistons bench, smile as wide as could be, high-fiving teammates and receiving a standing O from the crowd. It was the first real proof we had that this guy might actually be a force on the court, instead of the oversized human equivalent to rice pilaf that he often appeared to be. But alas, those moments have been few and far between. Just recently, John Kuester gave Villanueva his own personal quarters in the doghouse, playing him just 3 minutes in a loss to Orlando, and saying things like, "Charlie will be a good player for us down the road. We just got to make sure he's on the page of what we want to get accomplished." Hmmm, he will be a good player "down the road"?? It's his fifth year in the league...exactly when is the light going to flick on? And is there a bigger red flag than the coach saying that a certain player "needs to be on the same page" of what the team is trying to accomplish? One would safely assume the team's goals are winning and playing together. After 61 games, if Villanueva is still struggling to understand this, then we've got big problems.

Charlie Villanueva. Under contract for four more seasons.

Don't worry...I just got the chills, too.


Reach the High Socks Legend at highsockslegend@gmail.com, or leave your own thoughts on Charlie V in the comments section below.

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Or check out some other High Socks NBA articles of the past couple weeks...

A Triple Double for a Couple Curly Fries

The Night Shareef Abdur-Rahim Broke my Heart

Yet Unnamed Monday Weekend Sports Re-Kap

Hey, did ya hear the great news!?!? According to numerous reports, Joel Zumaya is feeling great and firing BBs with regularity down in Lakeland.

Oh, righhhhhht, I forgot about that.

And in related "I think I've seen this story before" news...

-Jeremy Bonderman is perfecting his changeup and looking forward to a big bounce-back season. You can search the various newspaper archives and find this exact same story written in 2005, '06, '07...well, you get the idea. Wake me up when this guy displays a working pulse or registers a season ERA under four. (Neither of which have ever happened.)

-Carlos Guillen is disgruntled over his diminishing role, ignoring the fact that he unofficially jumped the shark a few years ago and that his right shoulder is now composed of 50% solid muscle tissue and 50% Bisquick Pancake Mix.

-Bobby Seay looks to continue baffling AL sluggers as the Tigers' designated late-inning lefty specialist, even as his bulbous head seemingly increases by 4-5 inches every spring. Seriously, at what point are the team trainers just going to remove his oversized noggin and replace it with an actual pumpkin??


Clutch performance of the weekend goes out to our longtime friend here at the HSL, Aubrey. With the Sunday morning b-ball squad only having four available regulars, Aub got the call and stepped in admirably as has become tradition (his lifetime subbing record now stands at 3 and 0).

Combining gritty D and his usual rock-steady game on O, it was a good day all around for the man that has always been known simply as "Electric."

Now if we all can agree to just forget about that last-minute free throw that went Montross-ing off the backboard, I think we will all sleep a little better tonight.

Big ups, Aub. I see another call-up in the future, possibly to the real thing in Auburn Hills. Couldn't be any worse than...


Ben Wallace.

I've pretty much had it with this cat. The Pistons just finished up a jaunt out West that saw them drop 3 of 4 games to some of the worst teams that conference has to offer. All of the losses were tight contests that could have went either way down the stretch.

And there's our boy Ben, going to the line 15 times over the four games...and knocking down TWO.

Two for mother-f$^&ing fifteen, including a homicide-inducing 1 of 9 effort in the loss to G-State to wrap up the trip!

Hey Coach Kue, perhaps in these last twenty-something games, when the final quarter is about to begin, you can go kneel down by Ben, slowly untie his shoes, remove them from his feet, and hurl them into the upper deck.

Without the proper footwear, you would no longer feel the temptation to put the big fella back on the court.

There.

Problem solved.


Can we get some kind of ruling here on the infant-sized jersey Big Baby Davis has been rockin' this season?

Let's call a spade a spade, people. This man is very big.

And I don't mean tall.

Just wide.

Either call in a tailor and have him readjust this thing to make Baby look presentable, or create some kind of Celtics-styled Snuggie he can wear during games to help hide the excess fat and jelly rolls now spilling out of his green uni on a nightly basis.

I'm not a Davis fan by any means, but that doesn't mean I want the guy to suffocate to death on the court. If there isn't some kind of alteration made to his get-up though, that's exactly where we're headed.


Four straight double figure games for Jerry Stackhouse off the Milwaukee pine. Good for you, Stack.

Even though the Bucks finally had their six-game winning streak snapped Sunday with an OT loss in Atlanta, Jerry still got his 20. But maybe he ought to put the safety on the trigger just a little more often when he's on the court.

In his 28 minutes of play, he hoisted 14 times, picked up just one assist, and turned the rock over four times.

Wait a second...that's Rip Hamilton's stat line!!

Get your own material, Stack!!


Drop me a comment or question at highsockslegend@gmail.com

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Scary Free Throws, Frisky Bucks, and Another Lottery Dud: It's the HSL Friday 3-Man Weave

1. While Ben Wallace continues to rank dead last all-time in free throw shooting accuracy, there is another brick-throwing NBA center that is making a real push for the single season record for charity stripe proficiency. Andris Biedrins, the athletic Latvian for the Warriors, has been nothing short of horrrrrendous at the line this year. Try and swallow this stat box with your morning coffee. On the season, Biedrins is a stomach-churning 4 for 25 from the land of free. FOUR FOR TWENTY-FIVE!! This comes out to a robust 16 friggin' percent. Yiiiiiiikes. The single season record is held by the Celtics' Garfield Smith in '72, and he still managed to knock home 19%. Practically automatic compared to our boy Andris, who if you haven't seen it, basically goes with some kind of fractured soccer style throw-in when trying to cash in his attempts. Don Nelson tried bringing in Rick Barry (career 90%) to teach his underhand method to Biedrins, but the big fella was not cooperative. Not "cool" enough, apparently. But if this sick display continues for a couple more months, Biedrins might find out what "cool" really is next year...when he's suiting up alongside Billy Owens and Mr. Cooper for the Brotherhood II chapter in the downtown Oakland B'nai B'rith League for retired Jewish foot doctors and former NBA washouts. If I were you, I'd start hittin' some free throws, Andris...immediately.


2. The Milwaukee Bucks emerged from the All-Star break as a sub-.500 squad searching for some kind of identity. They sputtered badly in their first game back, suffering a 28-point home thrashing at the hands of the Rockets. Things weren't looking good for Scott Skiles and company. Fortunately for the Bucks, their next game was at the Palace against the Pistons, a team that plays with passion approximately two to three times a month. They got the much-needed road W and haven't lost since. After last night's escape job in Indy, the Milwaukee winning streak has now reached five and they are over .500 (29-28) for the first time in three months. It's not a glamorous group by any means, but they're getting the job done. Andrew Bogut has been a monster of late, and for the first time in his career, is actually starting to provide some justification for being #1 overall selection in 2005. John Salmons has been superb since coming over from Chicago at the trade deadline, and rumor has it that he might finally be considering making the "L" in his last name silent. The old dog Jerry Stackhouse has been a splash of sunshine off the bench, mixing in his usual batch of post-ups with an improved stroke from downtown. And lucky Luke Ridnour just might be the best backup point guard in the league. Even though Brandon Jennings hit the rookie wall about 35 games ago and Carlos Delfino takes the word "streaky" to a whole new stratosphere, this is still a fun little squad and I look forward to watching them come playoff time. And no, I cannot figure out how this unique batch of journeymen and young guys are fighting for the 6th spot in the East, while the Pistons continue to lose double-digit leads to the LA Clippers of the world. When's that draft lottery, again??


3. Not everyday in the Association that you see the second overall pick demoted to the D-League, but that's exactly what happened yesterday as the Memphis Grizzlies sent Hasheem Thabeet packing to the "Dakota" Wizards. Not North Dakota. Not South Dakota. Just Dakota...a real hotbed for hoops. Nice pick, Grizz. On draft night, maybe you shoulda looked past the fact that your boy was eight feet tall and instead concentrated on the fact that he never made a shot outside of eight feet in his entire career at UCONN. You can get away with that kinda thing in college. Hang out near the rim, get a lot of dunks, shoot over guys half a foot shorter. But in the NBA, you usually need to possess some semblance of actual basketball skill in order to succeed. Sadly, Thabeet is sorely lacking in that department, and has fallen on such hard times that he has now been replaced in the Memphis lineup by an actual Iranian, Hamed Haddadi, the only such player in league history. I think it's safe to say that if the organization chooses to play a guy that may or may not be friends with Osama Bin Laden over you, then your days in the league are most likely coming to an end very soon. Enjoy "Dakota," Hasheem, and give my best to Mount Rushmore. You never know...one day you might find yourself on a monument just like it dedicated to the tallest lottery busts in history, along with Robert Swift, Vitaly Potapenko (taken right before Kobe Bryant), Sharone Wright, and the wildly overhyped Ricky Roe.


Reach the High Socks Legend at highsockslegend@gmail.com

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Pistons 2010: Where Even the Wins Feel like Losses

The clock ticked under four minutes to play. The Pistons were leading the perennial Western powerhouse Spurs by 11 points. Tim Duncan wiggled free for a layup and the lead was cut to nine.

At that moment, Gregg Popovich had a revelation.

"Hey, this team we're playing has the worst free throw shooter in NBA history on their team. And he is on the court right now. GO FOUL HIM!!!"

And so they did. Again, and again, and again, and again.

In the span of just one minute and twenty seconds, Ben Wallace was ordered to the line a staggering ten times.

His shots were flying every which way. Some clanged off the side of the rim, some boomeranged off the backboard, and a few even managed to find their way through the hoop (four to be exact).

And throughout the whole ordeal, John Kuester did nothing. Sat on the bench, folded his arms, and watched.

Finally, with 2:05 on the clock and fearing the Spurs would get one more hack in before the rules would prohibit them from doing so (under 2 minutes), Kuester summoned Wallace to the bench.

The big fella angrily made his way to the sideline, took a seat, and fired his headband halfway to Livonia. This was clearly a very unhappy man. But who were his frustrations directed towards??

Sifting through Wallace's post game comments, that's pretty tough to judge.

A reporter asked Ben what he thought of the Hack-a-Ben strategy.
---"It's garbage."

Another reporter asked how he felt about Kuester showing confidence in him by leaving him in the game and not pulling him when the shenanigans started.
---"That's garbage, too."

Good luck figuring that one out.

But I will never understand why the frustration in this type of situation is always directed at the team enacting the strategy. Why is Ben not looking inward and putting the responsibility on his own shoulders, where it belongs?

Competition in any sport essentially comes down to this.

1. Search for your opponent's weakness.
2. Once identified, exploit that weakness as early and often as possible in order to emerge victorious.

It's as simple as that.

Gregg Popovich saw a glaring weakness on the other side of the court, and decided, understandably, to take advantage of it. And remember, it is not as if we are just talking about any old struggling charity tosser here.

Ben Wallace is literally the worst free throw shooter in NBA history.

Of the fourteen-hundred and six ballplayers that qualify (min. 500 career attempts), Ben Wallace ranks dead last in terms of free throw accuracy. And it's not even close.

1404. Eric Montross (.478)
1405. Chris Dudley (.458)
1406. Ben Wallace (.419)

(Sidenote: #33 on that list is Jason Maxiell at 56%. #47 is Kwame Brown at just under 58%. That's right...the Pistons currently suit up 3 of the worst 47 free-throwers in the history of the NBA. Don't let anyone tell you this isn't the most depressing season in franchise history.)

Richard Hamilton talked after the game how the Hack-a-Ben routine "was not basketball," and pondered possible rule changes in the future.

Gimme a break.

How is this any different than a football team continually attacking a weak cornerback by throwing in his direction on every play?

Or a team in the Little League World Series drag bunting down the first base line in every at-bat because the hefty 11-year-old hurler for the Venezuelan squad is easily pushing three bills ,and seems to have some kind of salsa dripping from the brim of his hat??

That's the way sports work. Do whatever it takes to win the game. This is multiplied by a million when you are talking about games at the professional level, when too many digits in the loss column typically end up costing you your paycheck.

And by the way, this thing could have ended in the blink of an eye...if Ben were able to MAKE A FREE THROW.

But what was John Kuester thinking throughout all of this?? He had the key to the castle the whole time, and chose to keep it hidden in his back pocket.

After the very first hack, he should have screamed for Charlie Villanueva and physically escorted him onto the court to replace Ben.

Now, I know that Villanueva has been living comfortably in Kuester's doghouse the last couple weeks, and that you'd be losing a lot on D by making the switch, but this was absolutely a move that had to be made. You put Charlie in for Ben, and now the Spurs have to D up for 15-20 seconds each time down. With a nine point lead and just a few minutes to play, every second becomes precious. That's what made their fouling strategy so valuable.

It's not just that they were forcing Ben to the line, where the Pistons would likely score 0 or 1 point. It's the fact that no time was elapsing in between their offensive possessions.

It's like one of those old bonus rounds on Super Mario Bros. where you could just go collect a million coins, but you had no risk of losing a life in the process. You're basically playing with house money.

Same thing here. For that 80 seconds, the Spurs had a chance to score as many points as they could knowing the number on the other side of the scoreboard would remain virtually the same. And most importantly, really no time was coming off the clock in the process.

For that minute and twenty seconds where they were hacking Ben, Tim Duncan and Co. went on offense a whopping six times. Remember, an NBA shot clock is 24 ticks. So typically, in 80 seconds of game time, each team will get two possessions, maybe three if the pace is really quick. They got SIX.

(Showing an immense amount of personal restraint, I did not fire a single projectile in the direction of the TV during these proceedings.)

Just to make sure the final outcome of the game does not get lost in the shuffle completely, I will point out that the Pistons did battle hard in overtime to come away with the mildly impressive home W over a Tony Parker-less Spurs squad. But to me, the story was that minute and twenty seconds where Wallace and Kuester both embarrassed themselves, each in their own unique way.

To me, Kuester is starting to look more and more like Michael Curry every day. Towards the end of Curry's reign, I realized that even though he had no chance to win with the roster he inherited, his clock management and in-game strategy were simply not good enough to be running a team at the highest level. He lacked certain essentials like how to handle timeouts at the end of games and which players to insert at critical moments. And maybe most importantly, he failed to assert himself as someone the players had to respect. He would rather be their buddy than their boss. Ultimately, it led to his dismissal after just one season at the helm.

I'm beginning to have these same feelings about "Kue." He was presented with a decision on Sunday night.

He could remove Ben after that first foul. This was certainly the right choice and the one that would have served the team best in securing the win with ease in regulation. But, this option might have also resulted in Diva Wallace turning against him and pouting his way through the rest of the season, like he has done to other coaches (Carlisle, Saunders) before.

Sadly, Kuester went the other way. He chose to play it safe. Or, as some like to say, "show confidence in his player." It's one thing for football coaches to punt late in a game to put the onus on their stout defense to finish things off. That confidence comes with reason. This particular form of confidence is, as Ben would like to say, "garbage." There was no mystery with this result. Ben was going to miss free throws. Many of them. But Kuester went the Mike Curry route, and turned catatonic.

As for Ben, it's the same old story, and one that I've rehashed several times on this site. Free throw shooting was his bugaboo entering the league, and he has not improved even the slightest in this department during his 14 years of service. I don't discount the fact that he has devoted huge chunks of time in the weight room throughout his career. It is admirable, and his work ethic in that regard is one to be replicated. But that does not take away from the giant elephant in the room; Ben has not done anything to improve his one major weakness, free throw shooting.

He has always loved to cry to the media and demand more touches on offense, but he never accompanies the words with the actions. Going to the gym in the summer and shooting 1,000 free throws might not be as glamorous or exhilarating as lifting 500+ pounds of metal with music blaring all around you. But the great ones fight through the boredom and do whatever it takes to change. But Ben just returns to training camp each year with that same ridiculous, fading away, high-arcing stroke that's about as graceful as a Tim Tebow spiral. And there is no excuse for it.

Go figure that on a night the Pistons win, I still find myself highly frustrated, writing this short novel at 1:47 AM more than 24 hours after the game ended.

It's been a long 55 games, but I think I can stick it out for the final 27.

Just please don't put Ben on that line anymore.

I can't take much more of that...


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Socks Brothers Present: The Semi-Intelligent, Somewhat Coherent, but Always Entertaining Sunday Evening Chat

HSL: Nice game this morning, little bro. Feels pretty good being 5-0, don't it?!?!

Low Socks: It was a nice game. Undefeated at the All-Star break is quite an accomplishment.

HSL: Sure is. And not to brag, man, but hasn't my 3-point stroke been especially lethal this season? What's going through your mind when I'm spotting up from deep?

Low Socks: Yes, you probably lead the league in three pointers made. But you might also have the edge in the attempts column as well. So, as you're spotting up for three, all I can think about is Antoine Walker and his "prowess" from behind the arc. I must add that in this image, I am your teammate, Paul Pierce...

HSL: Yeah, I can see that; only, if Paul Pierce were a 6'2" left handed Jew who was known to chug Kiwi-Strawberry flavored Propel while trying to work for position on the low block. Seriously, is that stuff just running through your veins at this point?

Low Socks: You could say that. In fact, I was scratched after a reach-in foul during the first half and started to bleed a little. The referee called for an official timeout to make sure my DNA was not grape flavored. It wasn't...and the game continued.

HSL: Ya, I thought I saw somethin' like that. In all honesty, John Beilein could use both of us on the floor this year. When you and me go to the gym and do rounds of 25 threes from all around the arc, we rarely make anything less than 17 or 18. On Saturday, in that HORRIFIC loss to the fighting Paterno's, the four guards (Douglass, Novak, Morris, Lucas-Perry) combined to shoot TWO for EIGHTEEN from downtown. Do you think we should check to see if Beilein wants to have us come in for an impromptu try-out prior to the Big Ten tourney??

Low Socks: We can dream. I've got a few years of eligibility left and I'd be more than happy to camp out around the long line for Big Blue. You can single out this loss against the worst team in the conference as a poor display of shooting, but it has been the theme the entire season. Lack of confidence, bad looks at the basket...how can recruited "shooters" lose sight of the rim??? This is the same team that made the tourney last year and beat Clemson in the first round, right?

HSL: I thought so. I guess maybe they just overachieved a bit last year in a mediocre conference, and everybody got a little too excited. At least Manny Harris continues to improve, though...phhhhhhh. I notice you've been watchin' a fair amount of Olympics. What up with that woman curler from Canada being pregnant? Can it really be considered a sport when you are able to compete at the highest level in the world even as you enter your third trimester?!?

Low Socks: Hmm, I was totally unaware that there is a pregnant competitor in the Olympics. Although, quite honestly, it doesn't surprise me that such an athlete can compete harboring a developing fetus. After our nine o'clock b-ball game this morning, I decided to relax a bit and catch up on the day's top news stories: so I flipped on the Mixed Doubles PBA event for a brief hour-fifteen. Mind you, Wes Malott is the most dominant bowler in the field; but the guy honestly looked to be carrying his first child. God bless.

HSL: Malott did look a little heavy today, didn't he? I mean, I know they call him "Big Nasty," but how about mixing in the occasional piece of fruit between all those triple cheese Baconators from Wendy's?? It seemed to affect his performance too, didn't it? Even when he struck out in that tenth to save a little face, a couple of those were real cheapies that he only got with help from the messenger. I don't think he looks like the same guy as last year, when he seemed to always be the #1 guy in the step-ladder tourney format. Wait, am I supposed to be saying this stuff out loud?

Low Socks: Wow, High Socks. When you invited me into this, you told me to keep it G-rated. That last comment was not for kids...or adults, for that matter. I believe we are all dumber after having heard that...I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. No, but SERIOUSLY, it does strike me as odd that Malott, after having captured the Chris Schenkel PBA Player of the Year Award last year with his dominant performance in the Scorpion Championship, has somewhat faded out of the picture with only two TV finals this season.

HSL: Got to agree with ya, Bro. I hate to say it, but maybe Malott just got TOO big. Even in a sport like bowling, where your scores generally increase with each slice of snack bar 'Za that you destroy, there's got to be some kind of concern for your physical appearance where you finally stop and say to yourself, "Hey, I might be on national TV a dozen times this year in front of millions of fans...maybe I ought to hold off on this 17th plate of Van de Kamp's Fish Sticks." But on that note, Chief, I say we call it a night. A real f$^&ked up night...


Throw in your own two cents on the various bowling/Olympic events of the weekend, or shoot me an E-mail at highsockslegend@gmail.com