Monday, February 22, 2010

Socks Brothers Present: The Semi-Intelligent, Somewhat Coherent, but Always Entertaining Sunday Evening Chat

HSL: Nice game this morning, little bro. Feels pretty good being 5-0, don't it?!?!

Low Socks: It was a nice game. Undefeated at the All-Star break is quite an accomplishment.

HSL: Sure is. And not to brag, man, but hasn't my 3-point stroke been especially lethal this season? What's going through your mind when I'm spotting up from deep?

Low Socks: Yes, you probably lead the league in three pointers made. But you might also have the edge in the attempts column as well. So, as you're spotting up for three, all I can think about is Antoine Walker and his "prowess" from behind the arc. I must add that in this image, I am your teammate, Paul Pierce...

HSL: Yeah, I can see that; only, if Paul Pierce were a 6'2" left handed Jew who was known to chug Kiwi-Strawberry flavored Propel while trying to work for position on the low block. Seriously, is that stuff just running through your veins at this point?

Low Socks: You could say that. In fact, I was scratched after a reach-in foul during the first half and started to bleed a little. The referee called for an official timeout to make sure my DNA was not grape flavored. It wasn't...and the game continued.

HSL: Ya, I thought I saw somethin' like that. In all honesty, John Beilein could use both of us on the floor this year. When you and me go to the gym and do rounds of 25 threes from all around the arc, we rarely make anything less than 17 or 18. On Saturday, in that HORRIFIC loss to the fighting Paterno's, the four guards (Douglass, Novak, Morris, Lucas-Perry) combined to shoot TWO for EIGHTEEN from downtown. Do you think we should check to see if Beilein wants to have us come in for an impromptu try-out prior to the Big Ten tourney??

Low Socks: We can dream. I've got a few years of eligibility left and I'd be more than happy to camp out around the long line for Big Blue. You can single out this loss against the worst team in the conference as a poor display of shooting, but it has been the theme the entire season. Lack of confidence, bad looks at the can recruited "shooters" lose sight of the rim??? This is the same team that made the tourney last year and beat Clemson in the first round, right?

HSL: I thought so. I guess maybe they just overachieved a bit last year in a mediocre conference, and everybody got a little too excited. At least Manny Harris continues to improve, though...phhhhhhh. I notice you've been watchin' a fair amount of Olympics. What up with that woman curler from Canada being pregnant? Can it really be considered a sport when you are able to compete at the highest level in the world even as you enter your third trimester?!?

Low Socks: Hmm, I was totally unaware that there is a pregnant competitor in the Olympics. Although, quite honestly, it doesn't surprise me that such an athlete can compete harboring a developing fetus. After our nine o'clock b-ball game this morning, I decided to relax a bit and catch up on the day's top news stories: so I flipped on the Mixed Doubles PBA event for a brief hour-fifteen. Mind you, Wes Malott is the most dominant bowler in the field; but the guy honestly looked to be carrying his first child. God bless.

HSL: Malott did look a little heavy today, didn't he? I mean, I know they call him "Big Nasty," but how about mixing in the occasional piece of fruit between all those triple cheese Baconators from Wendy's?? It seemed to affect his performance too, didn't it? Even when he struck out in that tenth to save a little face, a couple of those were real cheapies that he only got with help from the messenger. I don't think he looks like the same guy as last year, when he seemed to always be the #1 guy in the step-ladder tourney format. Wait, am I supposed to be saying this stuff out loud?

Low Socks: Wow, High Socks. When you invited me into this, you told me to keep it G-rated. That last comment was not for kids...or adults, for that matter. I believe we are all dumber after having heard that...I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. No, but SERIOUSLY, it does strike me as odd that Malott, after having captured the Chris Schenkel PBA Player of the Year Award last year with his dominant performance in the Scorpion Championship, has somewhat faded out of the picture with only two TV finals this season.

HSL: Got to agree with ya, Bro. I hate to say it, but maybe Malott just got TOO big. Even in a sport like bowling, where your scores generally increase with each slice of snack bar 'Za that you destroy, there's got to be some kind of concern for your physical appearance where you finally stop and say to yourself, "Hey, I might be on national TV a dozen times this year in front of millions of fans...maybe I ought to hold off on this 17th plate of Van de Kamp's Fish Sticks." But on that note, Chief, I say we call it a night. A real f$^&ked up night...

Throw in your own two cents on the various bowling/Olympic events of the weekend, or shoot me an E-mail at

1 comment:

Aubrey said...

Where is the mention of the most entertaining hockey game ever shown on MSNBC?! That game was the most fast paced, and had the most up and down action I've ever seen! Shame on NBC for having it on a network that doesn't allow for HD viewing...And some people don't even have it on there cable package. USA got out played, pretty badly, the entire game - out shot 45-22 - and still pulled it out somehow. At least there weren't many comparisons to the 1980 team...PHHHHHHHHHH!!